


pregnant steven

by cuttle_bunny



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Black Comedy, Drama, Multi, Mystery, Suspense, also crack fic, mpreg obviously, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-12 12:08:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19945915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuttle_bunny/pseuds/cuttle_bunny
Summary: steven is pregnant!!! he bares news like he bares his child. BUt what will the gems do? WHOO is the father??? find out .. .





	pregnant steven

The Crystal Gems were all chilling at their pad. They did not knoow this, but steven had some news to tell them.

Steven walks into the room all big and fat but even more so than he usually his. His shirt is clearly too small and his fly is down like nobody's business because he's really hanging out (his stomach not his dick just to clarify).

Everyone notices, but Amethyst is the first to be rude. "wooah dude your like fatter than me! did you eat a bunch of cookie cats or something or are you liek just pregnant? Hah that would be funny." She snorted.

Pearl looked disgusted. "Well OBVIOUSLY he can be whatever he wants because gender is on a spectrum amythest you should know that everyone knows that."

"But even so" perl continues "Steven isn't pregnant because he's not a no good whore unlike you amethyst." Pearl turns up her disgusting giant triangle nose.

"But perl alas it is true" Steven hangs his head "I am pregnant"

Everyone's eyes bulges in sheer shock. Amythest starts laughing like a which. "Oh my GOD dude that's toooo funny! So like who's the father? Ahahahaha!!"

Steven is a calm "Well, it's Connie. You see--"

"woah woah steven just chillax for a second" Amethyst is suddenly off the floor not laughing her ass off anymore with her purple fat hands behind on steven's shoulders. "Ain't nobody wants to hear that shizzle mah mizzle."

"Well I'm sure some people would." Steven said matter of factly. And he was right.

Perl was beside herself and beside amythest as well. "STEVEN you can't POSSIBLY! Who DID This to yoU? I WON'T FORGIVE ANYONE WHO RAPES MY POOR STEVEN!!!"

Steven closed his eyes with calmness "Do not worry Pearl. It was completely consensual. I want this baby" Steven said and he looked as his big stomach with stars in his eyes and a little cat mouth.

Pearl was losing it "Steven you don't understand you are underage you cant consent this can't happen you don't understand this is very very bad and you can't have that baby it's KILL YOU!!"

Garnet was all cool and sexy and garnet in the corner. "Steven Pearl is right. This is very series, according to my future vision you are already 3 months pregnant. If we don't abort the fetus soon you'll be soon giving birth on the floor and you'll be die"

Pearl goes to a phone "Do not worry steven I know what to do I know who to call" and she dials a number.

Steven Backs away holding his belly in protection. "No no! I won't let anyone take this bavy away from me!"

He runs to the door and runs into the father.

"Steven! I heard you were pregnant. Don't worry I'm a doctor." It was connie carrying a bunch of medical things. Steven backs away with no where to run.

"No way you're a doctor!" Steven said disbelieving

"I'm Indian so I might as well be" Connie said shrugged "Now lie down and hold still" she pulls out a coat hanger

Steven is horrific "Get that away from meee!!!"

"Don't worry its sterile" Connie says walking to Stevne. Steven didn't believe that but that was the least of his concern

"You monster! How dare you! I wish you weren't the father!!!" Steven is tearful

"I won't be in a minute. Now open wide" Connie doctorly holds coat hanger near steven dangerously.

Steven closes his legs and protects his belly and backs into a corner. "STop it all of you! This baby is gonna be just like me I can feel it! I won't let you take me away from me! I'm takin this baby to term and you'll just have to come to term with that!!!"

Steven is emotional and upset. It's getting pronounced just like his stomach and suddenly he's down on the ground. Everyone knows he's going to have the baby.

"Oh SHIT we outta pull down his pants!" Amythest said.

Garnet was alert with a futer vision and shouted "EVERYONE GET DOWN NOW!!!"

Steven screamed as he went into labor. Don't worry though it's not going to get graphic even though I'm sure you're probably uncomfortable already right now I'm sorry. The whole room lit up and everyone was blinded by pure white light, tastefully censoring all the gross stuff. Suddenly the room was quiet.

Everyone could only see Steven't clothes and a little lump under them. Steven was no more and had given up his physical form for his baby like his mother had done for him. Everyone cautiously circled around the clothes, and pearl was the one to lift them up to reveal the baby. It looked exactly like Steven Universe, except it was baby form.

"Well, I guess he fucked himself" Connie said dead-pan. She got up with her stuff and left not giving a shit. The gems stayed and stared at the Steven baby.

"So what is it?" Amythest said.

The Steven baby goo goo ga gad. "I'm a boy!" it said.

Pearl put her hand to her mouth blushing bluely. "Oh dear that's rather problematic." she said embarrassedly

"He still has so much to learn" Garnet said with smile. Everyone all laughed together at the steven babby. The steven bayb laughted too not knowing his own ignorance.

THE END :D

**Author's Note:**

> dang fanfiction.net making me put spaces between my multi epxclamation points T.T


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